Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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