i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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