Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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