Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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