i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
