i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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