3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
