i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
