Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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