We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think my vagina is haunted
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
