There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
