Girls should come with a carfax report
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
