I'm so fucking centered right now
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
