Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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