white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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