Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
