is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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