oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
