really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
