the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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