nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
