Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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