go do what you do best...puke behind churches
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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