If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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