Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
