dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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