And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
