PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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