I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
