awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
