The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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