i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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