she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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