I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
