You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
