dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
