i think my tv is drunk
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
