how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I forget how to act sober
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
