You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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