i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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