Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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