He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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