Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
