New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
