i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
