i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
