I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
