..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
