living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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