how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
