i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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