By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize