She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize