I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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