New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
