Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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