return my video game
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
