i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
