You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Alive.
So much puke
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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