Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
