Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
