Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
