I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
