I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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