Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
