Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
