i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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