I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
