found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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