So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
