I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
