I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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