We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
