My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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