Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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