Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
