When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
