What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
