Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
