for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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